What He Didn’t Understand: The Pursuit of Happiness
(All Quotations are from James Stephen Cooper’s final letter to family unless otherwise noted.)
“I no longer have any tears to shed, no hopes, no dreams, no aspirations at all. I only wish to be done with this life..”
In his final days, James struggled with feelings of loneliness and bitterness. Often times James felt neglected by some of his friends and acquaintances. He stopped seeing the beauty right in front of him, and his dreams became dark and full of lifelessness. When people lose sight of the bigger picture, and what life is really about, it is easy to fall into a pit of despair. We try so desperately to please everyone and hold ourselves to the standards that society deems acceptable and when we do not meet the vigorous and virtually unattainable demands that are forced upon us, hope fades away.
” I have lived as full of a life as I could stand, and it wasn’t ever that bad because you all made it worth living.”
People clash today with what is called expectation vs reality; what is expected of us versus what is real. For instance, men are being told they must have an impressive muscular physique with washboard abs, which requires slaving away at a gym several hours a day. In addition, wear designer clothing, own a nice quarter of a million dollar or more home, with a 70″ 4K tv, the latest virtual reality game platform, high speed internet with cable, and a garage containing a big truck or fancy sports car, not to mention having somewhere in the ballpark of a 6 figure job to support this lavish lifestyle. While these things are certainly attainable they are simply not realistic especially for most people who make 40k or less a year, even coming out of college (including the massive debt they have accrued with college loans and only being able to work part time on a less than acceptable minimum wage job.) Women certainly do not have it any easier as the same kind of pressures are forced on them; plus keeping up with the latest designer fashions, and makeup and beauty products so they can feel valued and glamorous.
“Through my life I started out always looking for something better than what I was given..”
It is the gambit of consumerism, you are promised all these wonderful things, but because there are almost an innumerable of amount of consumer products on the market today. People struggle to find contentment, loading up their house or apartment with all these gimmicks and items so that they feel important and like they mean something. Companies and Corporations play off people’s desires to feel accepted and like they fit in somewhere. It is part of our fallen human nature to lust and covet possessions and things we do not have. So what happens?
”To my family, I am deeply sorry to leave you with all of my debts.”
Essentially people go out on a spending spree, and pile up a grave amount debt all for the “pursuit of happiness”. To add to the mix, instead of being responsible and paying the monthly bills, doing routine chores to maintain their place of residence or paying off the credit cards, they go out and spend even more money on “friends”. This includes relaxing at the hookah lounge, venturing out to the bars, or enjoying the fanciest clubs in town, going on extravagant road trips, making the concert or venue of their favorite celebrity idol, and having the perfect vacation getaway to name some. Friends can certainly be considered an investment too. Depending on the kinds of friends you have they can either be an asset or a liability. The friends we end up associating with can be a mutual investment, or the kind we end up giving to and only using us in return.
Time and money are two very important resources we have today. Who we spend time with and what we spend our time on are important things to consider. It can be hard to find that balance between work, family and leisure activities. What we spend our money on is just as important. The more money we make doesn’t mean we will necessarily have more money, rather we have more money to spend. The more things we have do not equate to more happiness either. As most people find, the more they have the more they want; and the more they own will make others want to have and covet. It is true, when we see something really nice or cool that someone has, we start desiring it. An example would be, for instance, when we are walking down the sidewalk and see a happy couple together. Suddenly the man reaches his arm around his girlfriend or wife to embrace her, and they share a passionate kiss together. It invokes something inside of us, a yearning to be with someone, to have someone to hold and love. It is the nature of the beast, or rather human nature at its finest.
Contentment is godliness. Rather being content with what we have or do not have will be the only way we are able to resist our urge to go out and have more.
“I went from a wide eyed child that wanted to accept
everyone, and wanted to help people to a selfish self centered beast that saw no good in people at all.”
James found himself in a boat struggling with many of the same kind of things listed above. He was the kind of person to go out on a limb for anyone to help them out. Some people are legitimately in a bad spot and do need some help to get afloat. However there are many kinds of people who just live outside of their means, and do not know how or want to stay in their “financial lane”. In their depressive state of mind they might sink to illicit drugs, gambling, deviance, ungodly music, corrupt communication and sexual immorality, drowning away their sorrows and misfortunes with alcoholism. If only they would come to know Christ they would learn of His grace and mercy that He offers everyone freely who call on his name to be saved. No matter what social class we are, rich, middle class or poor without God we are all sinners and all our works are as filthy rags amounting to nothing. Money and material things do not last, we can be materially rich one day and lose it all the very next. It would be wise instead to invest in things that last forever and will not fade away. For we cannot hope in anything in this world; our hope comes from God alone and His promise to all those who believe on his name.
In James final letter, he recognized the bad investments he had made as the path he had chosen only led to a broken road. It had left him full of anger, and hatred towards people and life. Yet, despite all of that, he didn’t want us to blame anyone for his poor choices, as he was a free agent acting of his own will.
“I humbly ask that you not blame or hate anyone for my death. This is of my own free will, because more than anything I do not wish to let my mind slip into the darkest of places for if I do I’m afraid I will no longer have any grip on the humanity that is left.”
What does the Bible say about all this?
We will take a look at what Paul writes in one of His letters to Timothy.
“3 If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness;
4 He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings,
5 Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.
7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
11 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.
12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.”
1 Timothy 6:3-12
Paul is stating something very profound, and relevant even to this very day and age. In verses 3- 5, he makes known that those who deny the gospel of Jesus Christ are foolish and proud, knowing nothing or what they do know is vain. Furthermore he list their works, ‘for you will know them by their works and the fruit they bring forward’. These people argue and fight and think that the more things they gain, if it be friends, material things, and money, the more ‘godly’ they must be. Paul warns us to stay away from people who exhibit those characteristics, to avoid being corrupted and falling into the same snare of vice. These kinds of people can be caught in a den of iniquity, being godless or having a form of godliness but still denying the power of God.
“Nowadays I look around and what used to be eyes that found the best in people have become eyes that automatically judge people seeing only the worst in them and hating them for their flaws. To see myself become so cold is a fate worse than death.”
Verses 6-8 Paul is giving consolation to those who perhaps have virtually nothing, and reminds them that having contentment is godliness. As the saying goes ‘you can’t take it with you’, we will not be able to bring any of the things we possess in this world to Heaven. The only things we really need are our clothes, food and water the basic necessities of life. God did not intend for us to squabble and argue among ourselves about what we should have. He does not want us to worry or be concerned with the things of this world; it is a burden we were never meant to carry with us.
“In the end all this pain I feel cannot just go away with time, the physical, emotion, and psychological scars from wounds inflicted by myself, and through my experience of the world”
James unbearable condition can perhaps be perfectly described in verses 9 and 10 showing the relevance and wisdom of the word of God even today. Paul strongly warns the believers that those who seek riches and the things of this world are deceived and snared by the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. They will succumb to the temptations of the world and what it has to offer; which is death. Coveting is a grave sin, that traps us into greed and envy, making us give up our faith in Christ alone for the pleasures of life. But these material things are merely like a bunch of arrows being fired at us, piercing our heart and leaving us with sorrow as they will not avail us anything in the life to come.
“..In my greed came a sense of resentment. The resentment began to fester till …I began to become jaded.”
Paul consoles the believers with verses 11 and 12, letting them know there is a way to escape from these snares and temptations. That is by fleeing or running away from temptation, and not going near it. Instead chasing after spiritual things and desiring fellowship with God and other fellow-heirs in Christ. We are reminded that we have a good profession to bear the name and power of God before all people. There is a spiritual battle going on for the souls of every person. We must stay in the fight!
“I pray that you will witness to many people… I also pray that when you look back on your own lives you regret nothing, life is too short to spend agonizing over things that cannot change, trust me as I speak from experience.”
We desire that this website honors James’ last wish as stated above and that it will be a shining beacon of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.
About The Author
John Cooper
John Cooper currently works for AT&T in retail sales. His interests include physical fitness, martial arts, photography, videograph and writing.
What James says here is so powerful! “I pray that you will witness to many people… I also pray that when you look back on your own lives you regret nothing, life is too short to spend agonizing over things that cannot change, trust me as I speak from experience.”
We all have basic emotional needs: a sense to belong and to be loved. People will do anything, it seems, to be loved by someone. The desire to feel loved by a person or “fall in love,” But people are not perfect. “We all fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23. Only God can fulfill our deepest needs. He loves you with an unconditional, unfailing love. So much, that he died on a wooden cross over 2000 years ago. So that anyone who believes on Him, can have an eternal unconditional, loving relationship with a father that will never leave us, nor forsake us. We all have a choice to make.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved. But what we must realize is that true happiness comes from God a loan, not from this world.
“Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever” (1 John 2: 15-17).
We need to be spending our time on things that matter. Things that will last for eternity: God and people.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4: 7-11)
In Matthew, the greatest commandment is “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hand the whole Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40)
Nicole, thank you for your words of hope and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. Let the actions of our lives be a constant witness for Him.