Thoughts of Stephen…

In a few short days, it would have been Stephen’s 27th birthday. This will be the second birthday without our youngest son. In some ways it seems as if has been forever and a day since we said our goodbye to him as we looked upon his lifeless body one last time. In other ways it seems as if it were only yesterday that we saw his smiling face as he prepared that last meal for family and friends. The passage of time is so tentative but yet the finality of each moment that passes by is a stark reminder of how precious each moment of life we are given by our Creator is to us.

Kim and I went to the cemetery last week to visit his grave and change out the flowers in the vase attached to the gravestone. I could not help but look at the porcelein picture of him attached to the stone and remember the day that picture was taken with his bright eyes and that engaging smile of his that lit up the room whenever he arrived.

The day was sunny and bright and warm as we stood in front of his grave that overlooks a pasture with a small pond. The cows, angus and holstein were meandering around the pond, lazily drinking from it. It was such a peaceful sight to behold. Somehow, Stephen would be comfortable and at peace with that scene as it perfectly fit his love of nature and the out of doors. In fact, I could even picture him standing their on the bank with his fishing pole in hand deciding where to cast.

We visit Stephen’s grave from time to time as a way to somehow reach out and “touch” our memories of him. As each day passes, the sound of his voice in my thoughts fades little by little, but he still is my youngest son and he will always be there in my heart. I continue to hold onto memories of him as I picture him at different ages throughout his life and hold on to them tightly as precious experiences that I will cherish forever.

Stephen continues to be a part of my life each day, even though he is no longer here with us. The spirit of his smile and his laughter fills my thoughts and is ever present with me. There is still not a day that passes that I do not think of my youngest son and wonder what kind of life he could have had. But this I know, he is no longer suffering from whatever torment was in his mind and heart. He is at peace and walking side by side with Jesus, His Saviour. And this I also know, someday I will be there standing by my son as we walk side by side with Jesus Christ, our Peace and Hope!