Acts of Kindness

As you look at the news today, with all the negative press about all the terrible, horrible things going on in the world, sometimes its difficult to believe that there is even one shred of goodness left.  For me, it becomes difficult to even watch the news with the flood of what appears to be constant acts of violence against children, murders, and attacks on our very way of life.  It can be quite easy to become jaded with a steady diet of news commentary from our media.

The day after Stephen died we began the process of making the final arrangements.  We met with the funeral director in Blackwell and started the difficult task of planning.  As I had grown up in that community, I knew the funeral home staff very well since I had sung for many funerals during my junior high and high school years. We even attended church together.  Our family had utilized their services over the years for many family members and as such, they had become extended family.  The funeral director’s care and concern was reassuring and his manner full of kindness and warmth in this time of hurt and pain.

We arrived home after going there and not long after, we began to see a steady outpouring of kindness from people we did not even really know.  One of the deputies that found Stephen’s body was there with his fiancée with a fully cooked ham and a potato dish.  Then as the days progressed came employees from the retail store where Kim, my wife and Stephen worked bringing boxes of food for our family.  Some of Stephen’s co-workers contacted the funeral home and presented a video collage of Stephen at work that they had filmed earlier which was included in the video memory that the funeral home assembled.  

The deputies that found Stephen’s body were very gracious in driving his pickup back to our home from where he was found.  These same two men volunteered to escort the funeral procession from the funeral home where the service was held to the cemetery, some twenty miles away.  With the tragic nature of his death, we had a private family service at the cemetery and it was only right that these two men be present with us for our final goodbyes.  

As we went about the business of taking care of Stephen’s property, the primary things were his two vehicles, his car and his pickup.  They needed some “help” to be ready to sell and our dear friends at one of the local auto lots offered to provide assistance to us in getting these vehicles ready to sell and helping us with the sale.  Our next door neighbors also have been helping us do repairs on his pickup as we get it ready to market.

These same neighbors, the Morgan family have been close to us through out the years.  Their two sons grew up with our four sons and they enjoyed plenty of boyhood adventures and even some boyish mischief together.  They were there for us during the most painful moments and still have been a source of strength and kindness for us.  As a family they wanted to do something special for us and asked if they could donate a tree in Stephen’s name to be planted in one of the local city parks.  We just needed to pick the spot where we would like the tree to be planted.  As Stephen loved being around water, and spent many hours at the disk golf course at the city lake, we found a spot on a hill with a view of the lake as well as in the midst of one of the golf disk courses.  This is where the tree now stands.

There were many other acts of kindness by many far and wide as news of Stephen’s untimely death spread in the intervening days, by family and friends that are far too numerous to mention in this post.  But the most important thing is that so many people responded to us and reached out in our time of grief.  Each one of these acts of kindness have not been forgotten but rather each one treasured and kept in our hearts.

Many times during tragedies of this kind, you want to reach out and do something, but don’t know what to do or what to say.  I can tell you that even a warm handshake or hug, a smile, a card, anything at all speaks volumes to people who are suffering in pain with overwhelming grief.  Just being there is more than enough.  Don’t worry about what to say or what to do.  Just be there.  That is worth more than mountains of gold!